Coming up with a stellar wellness team
I think we need people on our team. Paid professionals who can assist you in your healing journey are CRUCIAL, because when you have people checking your blind spots, you can be better in YOUR job, especially if you work with people yourself. And listen, no matter how smart and aware we are, we all have blind spots. Just like every car, no matter the make or brand has them too.
I always say I would be a terrible coach if I didn’t have my own. I think we have to invest in ourselves to truly make progress in our lives - and we shouldn’t be afraid to budget, save and spend money on quality care for ourselves to recover and eventually thrive. If we don’t do it now, I think it’s only a matter of time until we have to make learning how to take care of ourselves a priority. Experts in what you need help with can help get you there with less struggle and more guidance, which will help you feel, look and be better in all areas, whether that is body, mind, emotional, career oriented and or financial, etc.
The way you can make up an effective team for your needs is to look at…
1) IDENTIFY things you need help with bodily + mentally speaking. For me, lately, I’ve needed help in my neurological system after enduring developmental + event trauma and pharmaceutical usage and withdrawal.
2) SEEK OUT practitioners who offer the help you are seeking and ask them directly about your case and see if they feel confident in being able to provide results for you should you sign on as a client. My best tip here is to ask as many questions as you need so you vet out people.
3) CHECK OUT CHEMISTRY by doing an ‘initial call’ to determine if you like them 1-1 and their approach. This might be obvious, but I don’t work with anyone who isn’t trauma aware by some level of education. There needs to be a chemistry with people who are on your wellness team that can’t be made up. So, feel it out. And if it doesn’t feel good at first, or after a few tries, move on. There are more people out there who will be better fitted to what you need and the kind of approach you need at the moment, I promise. Just keep searching! And ask your close circle for recommendations too. You’ll see how I found my therapist after 10 years of therapy hopping and never really feeling settled with a psychologist.
It took me awhile to come up with my stellar wellness Emily support team, and I’ll describe brief nuggets of what I enjoy the most with each practitioner and what frequency I see them and what for to inspire you.
1) My coach Jane. I see Jane on a weekly basis in her Toronto studio after I found her on Instagram in the trauma resolution threads. I make an afternoon out of seeing her green eyes guide me - and I mean truly see me - as we heal my bod. She is a trauma resolution coach that focuses on movement that regulates the nervous system to heal from trauma somatically. The work I’ve done with her and continue to do with her is absolutely life-changing. Jane has been incredibly helpful in restoring secure attachment in my life with a female role model. When I go through something difficult, she tells me I can call her if need be and she doesn’t mind getting on a quick call to remind me of my strength, and that I am in her thoughts and in her heart. I really enjoy knowing I have someone to go to if I need, and usually, because of this, I feel more independent and already feel empowered. During the first session in which I went to see Jane in person for 1-1 work, I was frazzled because I couldn’t get inside the door of her building. She made sure to tell me she’d be there next time to greet me, and she was. I truly believed her when she made that promise. The biggest positive impact I’ve felt other than the secure attachment building my work with Jane has brought me has been that the actual work we do in session. It makes me feel safer in my body, and thus safer in the world. PLUS she also is always giving me ideas to make me a better coach, which is an added bonus. I love Jane as a mentor.
2) My acupuncturist Kerri. I see Kerri once a week. She keeps me in check when it comes to my tendency toward insomnia + solves other neurological/ endocrine issues I experience on and off. Seeing Kerri relieves me from pain. She also does gua-sha + cupping which helps me kick off any kind of potential illness I run into by being in contact with other humans. She is very intuitive. When I was moving to California to be with my ex boyfriend (who was cheating on me the whole time we were planning my move and our future marriage), I kept running into issues (like a car accident) and she told me, “someone is trying to tell you something.” I thought it was just circumstances as I didn’t want to over spiritualize anything. Keep in mind I had NO context for what was happening and I felt really trusting of my partner because I was blissfully unaware of his sex addiction due to our physical distance. Now, I know she was onto something. I enjoy my conversations with her because she makes me consider things I hadn’t already thought of or opens my senses to listen to life. And, I think she is such a cool mom/ person with an interesting background. I want to be more like her so while her work is effective, I enjoy being in her presence each week for my treatment. I feel comfortable that she does body-work on me, and I feel like she truly cares about my getting better. This is all things that our important to find in practitioners for our bodies. Especially when we’ve had trauma in our histories.
Point being, I can tell if I skip an appointment, so I don’t.
3) My chiropractor Dr. Rob. I see Dr. Rob on average 3 times a week. He uses the Thompson method of chiropractic and focuses deeply on spinal alignment + nervous system recovery in relation to the spine. He will even drop my kidney/ adrenal like a somatic experiencing practitioner on most of my visits. He doubles as a wannabe life coach as he listens to you talk about your day to day emotional problems and gives you practical solutions to resolve them. He is also one of my best friends and top supporters. I love him and truly don’t know where I would be without his care in my neurological recovery.
4) My N.D Julie. This is a new resource for me that I use as needed. I wanted a functional medicine doctor who could order blood tests for me and avoid the traditional M.Ds if I could. So, I did, and it’s been a positive experience to deal with a physician who knows what I am talking about when I say, “I want to get tested for EBV please.” and who has more than 5 minutes for me. This way too, there is some actual blood/ urine/ stool test testing what is going on inside of me that I can measure and find the root causes of some of my ailments with. Julie is prompt and doesn’t pretend to know all the answers, but is keen to try and figure them out with you.
5) My massage therapist Janet. I see Janet as needed, especially if I am experiencing migraines but she is the best because she lets you talk and then she stops when you do. That’s the top skill you need in a R.M.T, and obviously her pressure is amazing. Sometimes, I’ll go just to relax. :)
1) My therapist Em - I sit on Em’s couch once a week without fault. I found Em by a recommendation of a childhood friend. In the first session, Em shed light to why my PTSD felt so intense relating to an experience in childhood about not believing help was on its way. I left feeling like I had more power than my PTSD did for the first time in 4 years. I go back weekly ever since. She helps me navigate and understand my complex family dynamics and the impact it has on my personal relationships. I hope that through our work together, I can find my ‘home’ in the world in terms of proximity and be in a truly healthy partnership with someone I can build a family with as I mend and let go of my pain and patterns with my family of origin.
2) My grief counsellor Lisa- I speak with Lisa via zoom Lisa twice a month. Lisa helps me grieve without timelines and in a way that teaches me how to take care of myself vs how to push myself through grief. She is extremely trauma aware and I know I do well learning from her personality type. So far, we’ve pin pointed that one purpose for my grief is to let go of being so wound up.
My team is quite large, and you probably think, “holy shit, this must cost a fortune.” It does, and it’s relative. Most of my money, other than what I save, is spent on rent, my car, food and practitioners. I don’t buy things like clothing or spend my money in other ways in terms of entertainment because those aren’t my top priorities. My top priority is my healing so that I can help others heal too (and so I can be truly well and enjoy life). Some services I mentioned are covered by insurance, but mostly, everything I get in terms of support from my stellar wellness team is out of pocket and it’s worth every penny.
Notice that what my team is for has nothing to do with business. I happily excel in that corner, but that’s because at one point, my team was all FOR my business, and my work and purpose in the world. Now that I’ve got that figured out, my team supports me in my health and personal relationships - where there is still work needed. :) However, I still do have my awesome grounded accountant to help with my business and taxes - who can work with you in personal or online.
If I am traveling or living elsewhere than my hometown, I bring Em and Jane online, and Lisa remains. I’ll then seek out acupuncture + chiropractic that have amazing yelp reviews in the physical location that I’m in, or from recommendations of friends no matter where I am. Knowing what you need makes it easier to navigate the world and doesn’t limit you from traveling.
So tell me, who’s on your team?
And if you’re interested in having me on your team, as your holistic life or business coach specializing in nervous system health - please give me a shout here.