Why you and your BFFL(s) should have a weekly date night (and how to initiate one)
In my opinion, we straight up don't spend enough time with our friends IRL, chalking it up to following their lives on social media and calling it a day.
This is a form of connection, but it's not as deeply nourishing as quality time with no phones and undivided catch up time laughing too loud in a restaurant booth with your friends is.
I am talking straight up sex and the city girlfriend vibes are needed in our lives.
Having a weekly date with my girlfriend(s) is really important to me. During this time, we come together and share what's been on our minds and hearts - taking turns to speak and listen.
Catching up with a key girlfriend(s) is essentially to our wellness. The support female to female friendships can offer is big because we can relate to each other's cyclical nature. The ways we change every day due to our cycle allows us fluidity emotionally and physically, and we need different support at different times. Who better to get it than each other? Offering support to each other is so precious. But we often skip out on it and don't make it as big of a priority as we do with our man or our work.
I want us, as women, to challenge this.
We need ride or die friendships in life to have a sense of community and belonging. Some of us need "framilies" because our family of origin are toxic to our wellness or because we live far from our fam.
It just feels really good to be able to count on people, and to be able to show up for people and to see the appreciation and sense of comfort it brings them.
Here are two main benefits of having a weekly date night with your girls:
1) You get to engage socially - which helps your nervous system regulate out of sympathetic (stress energy) and into parasympathetic (cozy restful energy),
Laughing and having fun is something we forgo too often. If you're out for dinner, make sure to breathe while you eat and in between conversation. Savoring the moment and slowing down with loved ones will have you feeling amazing.
2) Hugs and affection. For the most part, we are starved when it comes to physical touch. This is especially important if you're single and not getting in cuddles with someone special. Us girls are more likely to hold hands as we tell important stories, kiss each other's faces and hug each other hello and good bye. It's important to have that in the flesh connection with other humans for our health. Yes, for regulation. There's a difference between someone saying, "I am thinking of you" to "I am here with you". Do the latter as much as possible.
How to initiate a date night with your girls
Think about who you feel energized by in terms of friends. It's always a good sign when you feel better after seeing someone than you did before tuning in with each other.
Rally those people together (even if it's only one gal) and start a group chat where you propose the idea.
Your invite could look a little like this:
I feel like with the augmentation of our social media use, I am lacking AND craving some IRL friend contact. I think it would be fun to get us together to chat, hug, and laugh once a week as a ritual with a unique activity each time. We could schedule it in our calendars the way we schedule important biz things so we didn't skip out on each other and get stuck in that rescheduling trap.
Would you be interested? I'm most available on Tuesday or Saturday nights. When are you free the most during the week?